


Steppin' Out With My Baby

by JackTheBard



Series: Hope's Peak 79th Class [3]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Brian Setzer, Caro Emerald, F/F, F/M, Gen, Original Character(s), White Stripes - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-01-20 07:19:37
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 20,566
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12427716
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JackTheBard/pseuds/JackTheBard
Summary: Eien proposes a get-together for the members of Hope's Peak's 79th class, and winds up getting dragged into something way over her head.





	1. Chapter 1

One week had passed since the 79th class of Hope’s Peak had arrived and settled in. It’s not that it was a long week, nor was it particularly eventful, but it was busy. Mr. Hagakure, more than anything else, was pushing for the students to improve their talents, and Eien found herself working harder than she had at any point during the war.

She had made a multitude of trips around town in order to study the various colonies of pigeons, sometimes with Alex at her side. Usually, though, she asked someone to keep an eye on him when she went out for her studies.

However, as the class met for breakfast one day, Eien saw a very disheveled and otherwise unkempt Yanagi making his way towards her chair with nothing more than a croissant in one hand and a mug of coffee in the other. He smacked his lips and smoothed out his mustache as he sat down across from her, and she tilted her head at the oddity.

Generally speaking, Yanagi came across as a morning person. He woke up early, got showered, dressed, and made sure that he looked good before he went about his day. When he entered the dining hall, he often had his usual shirt and blazer on, his goatee perfectly trimmed, and his hair styled. He was so bright-eyed and bushy tailed that many of the other students (particularly the ones that preferred nighttime more than anything else) despised his cheery, early-morning attitude.

Which is why today was so exceptionally strange. Yanagi looked like he hadn’t even showered, let alone changed his clothes or shaved. His glasses hung onto his face by the tip of his nose and a prayer, and he let out a mighty yawn as he took his seat across from Eien.

“Rough night?” she asked, taking a bite of her fish and a sip of tea.

“Long night,” he confirmed as he took a drink of his coffee. It seemed to revitalize him slightly, but only just. The thing he needed more than anything else was a good night’s rest.

As Eien started to question what he meant, Yorokobi came up behind him and gave him a hug with an excited squeal. She pressed her lips to Yanagi’s cheek, prompting a neutral “mrng” from him.

“Thanks so much for last night, Sailor,” she said with a girlish giggle, “I haven’t felt that good about something in a long time. We definitely need to do that again.” She pulled away, but not before saying, “By the way, your performance was stellar. I’d really like to experience more of it.”

A wink and a laugh were all that she left them with, aside from the miasma of questions rattling around in Eien’s head.

“What did you do,” she said. It wasn’t a question, but rather a demand that he tell her the truth.

“Nothing,” he said, and there was no attempt to hide something, from what she could tell about his statements.

“Are you lying to me?”

“Nah.”

“You’re lying to me.”

“We didn’t fuck,” Yanagi said as he glanced up at Eien with a dull expression on his face. His eyes lacked the same kind of luster that they normally had, and she had the distinct feeling that he would have said the exact same thing if Alex had been within earshot instead of hanging out in her room.

Eien stared at him levelly. “She sure made it sound like you did.” It wouldn’t have surprised her if he just wasn’t telling her the truth and that they had, in fact, gotten it on. Pretty much everyone had noticed the sexual tension between the two of them the first day in class, and Eien had honestly expected them to at least go out a lot sooner.

“Yoro kind of speaks in innuendos,” Yanagi said with a sigh and a shrug, “It’s just… what she does.”

“Wait… Yoro?”

“It’s what she asked me to call her, since her name is a mouthful.”

“Oh. Then what happened?” Eien asked, only for another interruption to arrive in the form of a sneakered foot stomping onto the chair next to Yanagi, and the very familiar sight of a tracksuit and blue hair.

“Oyyyyy,” Yu said as she sneered at Yanagi. “The two of you dating now? Makes sense that two of the biggest losers in this shitshow class should start hooking up to make even more losers.”

Yanagi gave a scoffing laugh and said, “Hah. No. Never gonna happen.”

Eien wasn’t offended. She had made it clear very early on that she did not care for men in a romantic context. Instead, she glanced over at Yu and wondered how Yanagi would react.

“What’s the matter, clown?” Yu prodded, “Can’t wake the snake? Not enough pump in your chump?”

Yanagi was quiet for a moment before he responded with, “I can only become sexually aroused by a woman doing an impression of a giraffe.”

Yu tilted her head for a second at the simple nature of this kinky thought, only for Yanagi to take advantage of her confusion and pull the chair out from under her foot.

The sudden loss of her footing caused her to stumble forward, arms flailing until she managed to stop herself from crashing into him. The way their faces were positioned, Yu would have wound up kissing Yanagi in a manner that would have been as humorous as it was likely to turn into all-out war.

Eien did not want to be within the blast radius should anything go wrong.

Yu snarled for a second and grabbed Yanagi by the front of his white undershirt. “You wanna start something? Because I’ll be more than happy to finish it.”

“Take your first shot, Yu, and make it count. I practically had the soul sucked out of me last night, and I’m ready to die. How about you?” Yanagi said this in such a tired way that he made it sound like he was not exaggerating.

There was no shine in his eyes. Just a dull lack of luster in his expression that showed he was not in the mood to do anything short of peace, quiet, and a long nap.

Yu let him go and walked away, confusion and fear on her face. Yanagi turned back to Eien and started to munch on his croissant.

“You’re really not convincing me that you and Yorokobi didn’t have sex,” Eien said, no longer amused by his tiredness and refusal to talk about what had happened. Instead, she found herself quickly becoming irritated by it.

“We spent all night writing,” he explained, finally. “Basically from the last time you saw me to about twenty minutes ago, Yoro and I were writing and attempting to improve our talents.”

“Right,” Eien said, still unconvinced, “Then why did you say that you practically had your soul sucked out of you?”

“I read some of her work,” Yanagi explained, “It’s kind of what you do when you’re in a workshop with someone else, even though I’m not a fan of horror. It was probably for the best because we wound up pulling an all-nighter, and I couldn’t sleep after taking a look at that shit.”

Eien wore a sympathetic expression, and was half tempted to reach out and say, “I’m sorry that you got scared shitless by some of Yorokobi’s work,” but that might have come across as too platitudinous.

Instead, she patted his hand as he took another bite of his croissant. “So, once you get a nap,” she began, “What’s the plan for the day?”

“Dunno,” he said with a shrug.

“I don’t know either. I think it’s about time for us to have a break from this nonstop training,” Eien suggested with a shrug of her own, “What would you do on a night off?”

“Clubbing,” Yanagi said without skipping a beat, “I think I would go clubbing.”

Eien’s cheeks puffed out in frustration. She always did that when she was frustrated, and some people would call it adorable. Unfortunately, Yanagi was not in the mood to call anything adorable, or to call anything “anything” at this moment.

“You disapprove,” was all that Yanagi said.

“I don’t like clubs,” she responded matter-of-factly.

“You asked what I would do,” he responded with a shrug, “I told you what I would do. Or should I go into more detail?”

“Please don’t.”

“I would have many drinks, get in a fight with one of the bouncers, probably lose, and then use sympathy and charm to chat up a beautiful woman in the hopes of having a dance with her.”

“Yanagi.”

“And then, if I was very lucky, she would invite me back to her place for a bit of steaming hot raunchy monkey sex.”

“Yanagi!”

“And then, the next morning, I would make her pancakes and we would go our separate ways.”

That gave Eien cause for pause. She blinked a few times, tilted her head and said, “You’d make… pancakes?”

“Yeah. Unless she had a waffle iron. Then I’d make her waffles,” Yanagi explained as he drained the last of his coffee and stared despondently at the few grounds that remained in the bottom. He realized that, in that moment, if he was capable of inventing anything that would make his life easier at this precise moment, he would wind up inventing a coffee mug that led to an alternate dimension that was completely composed of coffee that way he could drink and not stop drinking that sweet nectar of awake-ness until he’d had his fill.

“You’re saying that, if you could, you would make waffles for your one-night stand?” Eien said, trying to process the things he’d said.

“Or pancakes.”

“Yeah, yeah, I get your point. But… isn’t that supposed to be like… the opposite of what you’re supposed to do with a one-night stand?” she said. As far as she knew, one night stands were generally supposed to leave in the morning without a word and without a trace. At least, that’s how TV portrayed it. She hadn’t really had a one-night stand herself. Or sex in general, for that matter.

“What I do with my one-night stands is none of your diddly-darn business,” Yanagi responded as he dipped the last of his croissant into his coffee and tucked into his mouth. He washed the last of it down with the remainder of his drink and swallowed, letting out a satisfied sigh. “Anyway. You’ve given me an idea. I’m going to talk to Ryo and Yoro and see if they want to hit the town tonight.”

“Why Ryo?” Eien asked, a quizzical expression on her face.

“Because he’s fun and he can throw me over his shoulder if I get too out of hand,” Yanagi responded as he stood up, “Anyway, I’m going back to my room to hopefully get some sleep. It’s likely to be filled with nightmares, but it’ll be a step down from the usual night terrors,” he said with a shrug.

As Eien watched him walk away, she marveled at how he could be so nonchalant about something as mortifying as his night terrors. She leaned back in her chair for a bit, wondering what kind of crazy trouble he was going to get himself into, and whether he would wind up calling her in order to bail him out.

She finished her own breakfast and returned to her room, letting Alex out of his cage and opening the window so he could fly around outside. He paused on the windowsill for a moment and cocked his head at her. “Mama?”

“Yes, Alex?”

“You look confused. Why?”

“Yanagi.”

“I like him.”

“I know you do,” she said with a little chuckle.

“Why is he confusing Mama?”

“Because he’s weird.”

“Oh. Okay. I’ll see you soon, Mama,” he said as he took flight out of the window and launched up into the sky.

Eien watched him go up into the air for a moment, then circle and head out in the direction of the Hope’s Peak running track. In some cases, she felt a little apprehensive about letting Alex out on his own, but she relaxed for three reasons. First, there were no predatory birds around Hope’s Peak. Second, she had studied and made friends with the pigeons in the area before any others, and they would recognize Alex from the pictures that she had showed them. Finally, Alex knew not to leave Hope’s Peak. She had made that very clear to him very early on.

She lay on the bed and stared at the ceiling for a moment before she grabbed the E-Handbook from her desk.

The item was a tablet computer, but produced exclusively by Hope’s Peak for Hope’s Peak. Akira had already dismantled two of them in order to study their circuits, so Hagakure had to get her a third that couldn’t be opened up in any way.

Not that it stopped her from trying.

Or from asking other people to give her theirs.

She booted it up and opened up the chat function. Hope’s Peak had a dedicated, secured chatroom that was designed to be accessible only by staff and students, and each user had a codename that was somehow related to their talent, for the purpose of “secrecy.”

All in all, Eien considered the whole “codename” thing to be rather pointless, because it was an extra step in figuring out everyone’s names that she thought was completely unnecessary and, all in all, kind of pointless.

The screen beeped as she connected.

_Logged onto Hope’s Peak Secure Chat Server_  
_All names have been redacted and replaced with usernames for the sake of safety and security_  
_User name “Darwin” has logged in_

Her username was “Darwin,” a reference to Charles Darwin and his studies of Galapagos Finches in The Origin of Species. While she didn’t have any particular interest in evolution, she figured that the vague reference to birds did fit in with her talent.

 **Darwin** : is any1 in here

She typed this message in order to subvert the serious design flaw of the chat server: no user could see who was in the room at any given time, meaning that someone had to put out an all-call in order to see who was in.  
A response wasn’t long in coming.

 **Bunyan** : I’m here, little missy. What’s cookin?

Eien found a smile working its way onto her face despite herself. The language barrier had been a rather rough thing for Garrett Holstein to overcome, but a special subroutine in the chat server ensured that everything he sent or received was translated appropriately.

 **Darwin** : glad to actually talk to u instead of havin some1 transl8  
**Bunyan** : I reckon this is gonna go a little more easy-like for us, yeah.  
**Darwin** : got a ? for u  
**Bunyan** : Shoot.  
**Darwin** : what would u do on a day off?

There was what seemed to be an echoing silence in the chat room for a bit before Garrett finally responded.

 **Bunyan** : Reckon I ain’t really got a plan for that anymore.  
**Darwin** : y not  
**Bunyan** : Ain’t had a day off in a long time. Always been busy, some way or another.  
**Darwin** : so u dont kno what u would do  
**Bunyan** : Ain’t got a clue.  
**Darwin** : yanagi sez hes gonna go clubbing  
**Darwin** : i sez hes crazy  
**Bunyan** : Why would you say that?  
**Darwin** : hes all like “imma go n get drunk and fight some1 and make out with a cute girl” and im just like “bruh can u not”  
**Bunyan** : You disapprove?  
**Darwin** : thats exactly what he said  
**Bunyan** : I understand why he wants to go into town. Probably been a while since he could cut loose.

Eien paused before writing a response. He had been doing nothing but fighting and writing over the course of the past eight years, so it made sense that he would want to take some “shore leave,” so to speak.

 **Darwin** : r u gonna go w/ him  
**Bunyan** : I’d only go if he asked, and even then I’d politely refuse. Ain’t really my scene, and I ain’t in a mood to be around that many people that I can’t understand.  
**Darwin** : fair nuff  
**Bunyan** : What about you?  
**Darwin** : nah  
**Darwin** : dont like that sort of thing either  
**Bunyan** : And what if Chie went?

Eien’s hands twitched, and she almost dropped the E-Handbook. Yanagi knowing was one thing, but Garrett having an idea was something completely different. While she was friendly with the cowboy, she wasn’t really the type to tell him how she was feeling.  
Not yet, at least.  
He needed to be a level five friend to unlock her emotions box. At most, Garrett was a level three.

 **Darwin** : i have no idea what ur talkin abt

Convincing.

 **Bunyan** : Eien, I’m willin to bet my left foot that everyone can see it except Chie.  
**Darwin** : still have no idea what ur talkin abt  
**Bunyan** : She ain’t dense, but she’s clearly more concerned with things aside from your attraction to her.  
**Darwin** : who sez im attracted to her  
**Bunyan** : Yanagi told me. Just kinda confirmed what I already suspected.

Eien was going to make sure that wordsmithing fucknugget couldn’t reproduce for this.

 **Darwin** : im gonna kill him  
**Bunyan** : I’d appreciate it if you don’t. He and Marié are the only ones what can translate for me.  
**Darwin** : im not gonna kill her so youll still have one.  
**Bunyan** : Eien, no.  
**Darwin** : imma go n castrate him rn.  
**Bunyan** : EIEN NO  
_User name “Darwin” has logged off._

Eien put the E-Handbook aside just as Alex flew back into the room, settling on the foot of Eien’s bed and bobbing his head a little bit. The bob stopped as Eien stood up and grabbed her shoes, lacing them up so she could roll out.

“Mama?”

“I’m sorry, Alex. Mama’s gotta go and hurt Yanagi.”

“Why are you hurting Yanagi, Mama?” Alex said, his voice clearly sad.

“He told someone something that he shouldn’t have.”

“Yanagi has not taught me any new words.”

“And he’s not going to,” Eien said as she closed the window.

“Why not?”

“I can’t tell you that just yet. I’m sorry. I’ll be back in a bit,” she said as she leaned over and gave Alex a kiss on the top of his head.

“Don’t hurt Yanagi, Mama,” Alex said as she left.

I’m not going to hurt him, Eien thought to herself, Just maim. Or seriously injure.

Yanagi’s door was wide open, and Eien stormed in, saying, “Hey! Assclown!”

As she entered the room fully, there was a thud as a rather large bowie knife slammed into the corner of the wall, not three inches from Eien’s face. Within the room, Yanagi stood by his desk in his usual attire, his arm still extended from completing the throw.

Eien stared at the knife, its handle still quivering from where it was planted, and felt the blood drain from her face. “Holy shit.”

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry!” Yanagi said as he ran over and took the knife out of the wall and tucked it into the sheath on his belt. “It’s a reflex!”

“Pretty deadly reflex…” Eien said, her voice shaky. She found her knees giving out beneath her and Yanagi caught her. “I could have died…”

“Thank god my aim was off, otherwise you would be,” Yanagi responded as he led her over to the bed, “Are you alright?”

“I could have died… I could have died!” Eien said as she straightened up, “You could have killed me! What the hell?!” She immediately began swatting at his chest and arms, furious with the fact that he had thrown a very sharp and heavy knife in her general direction.

“I said I was sorry!” Yanagi said, trying to defend himself from what was, admittedly, a feeble assault.

“You could have killed me!”

“But I didn’t!”

“But you could have!”

“But I didn’t!” he said as he grabbed her wrists and stopped her attacks. “Jeez. I’m sorry. If the knife had actually hit, I would have been a lot sorrier. Can we just leave it at that?”

Eien stared up at him with her frustrated, cheeks-puffed-out expression, and folded her arms across her chest, “I guess…”

“There. Now, what did you want.”

Suddenly remembering what she had come over to do in the first place, Eien perked up and slapped him so hard that his glasses were knocked slightly off-kilter.

“Ow!” he said as he rubbed his cheek and righted his spectacles on the bridge of his nose, “What the fuck?! I thought we had stopped with the whole ‘I threw a knife at you on reflex’ kind of thing.”

“Why the hell did you tell Garrett about Chie?!” Eien said as she started swatting at him again, though Yanagi was ready for her reaction, this time. He caught her wrists in his hands and stopped the onslaught before it worsened and she actually did some damage this time.

“Because I trust him,” Yanagi responded as Eien struggled in his grip. He talked about it casually, instead of creating an unnecessary uproar that could potentially draw in a variety of people from outside, including the subject of their discussion.

“He could tell other people,” Eien said as she stopped fighting back against him and settled down. He released her.

“Who’s he going to tell? Marié? She’s the only other person that can understand him. And even if he did tell Marié, who would she tell? You really think that a girl that sweet would care anything for being a gossipy bitch?” Yanagi said, and Eien had to confess that he had a point.

“Fine,” she said as she flopped down on the bed, “But that doesn’t change the fact that I’m mad at you.”

“Fair enough. Though maybe I’ll tell her myself tonight,” he said with a shrug.

“You’ll what,” Eien responded flatly, turning to face him as he made his way back over to his desk and started shuffling around a few papers and reorganizing a couple of his items.

“She’s coming out with Ryo and I tonight. She also said she’d invite along a few more people to join, so looks like we have a regular party going,” Yanagi said, and Eien scrambled over to jump on his back and start strangling him.

“Don’t you tell her a damn thing, I swear to god,” she said, even as Yanagi struggled to breathe slightly. It wasn’t anything that would kill him, especially considering that he flung her over his head and back onto the bed.

“You… spider monkey!” he said as he straightened up and fixed his hair and collar. “If you want to stop me, then you can come along too.”

“I don’t drink,” she said sourly, staring up at the ceiling and stuffing her hands in her pockets.

“Do you dance?”

“Not well.”

“Do you want to have a chance to talk to Chie at all tonight?”

Eien didn’t respond.

“Eien.”

Still no response.

“Eien!”

“Fine, I’ll come!” she said, sitting up and swinging her legs over the side of the bed with a clear sense of discontent, “But the second I feel uncomfortable, I’m leaving.”

“If that’s the case, you probably won’t even make it past the door,” Yanagi responded as he held up a knife with a wickedly curving blade and a serrated edge, “What do you think of this one? Does it say ‘I’m single and ready to mingle?’”

Eien stared at the item he held and balked for a moment, her brain trying to process the combination of question and item. “Why are you holding up a knife.”

“Because I need to know which one to wear tonight, you dingus,” Yanagi said as he glanced over his shoulder at her.

“That doesn’t answer the question of why you are holding up a knife in the first place.”

“I’m holding up a knife because I need a second opinion,” he explained, then set it down. There was a shuffling of items, and Eien found herself standing up and making her way over to where he stood at his desk.

“How many knives do you…” she saw the desk laid out with over a dozen shining blades of varying sizes, prompting her to finish her sentence with a squeak of a question, “Own?”

“Fourteen, maybe fifteen,” Yanagi responded before he picked up a blade that turned at a sharp angle and thickened at the end. Eien had seen pictures of them before and knew that they were called kukris. “What do you think? A little too much?”

“Yes!” Eien said, taking the blade from his hands and setting it on the table, “There’s no reason for you to carry a knife around!”

“Not even a small one?” he asked, a little despondently.

“Not even a small one. You’re a large man, so you won’t have to be afraid of someone assaulting you,” she said, though she knew that Yanagi would already have a witty response for her.

“Yeah, but one can never be too sure,” Yanagi said as he picked up what looked like a bracelet with a small handle sticking out of it. He slipped the punch knife out of its sheath, an item that gave his fist an extra deadly edge, “I think I’ll take this one tonight. Makes a statement, but not too audacious.”

“You’re insane,” Eien said as she rubbed the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. “You’re thoroughly insane.”

“Okay. And?” He said as he looked over at her with a wolfish smile, “We all went a little mad at some point.”

“Yeah, but not ‘I have fourteen or fifteen knives’ mad.”

“No, some of us are worse.”

“Not what I meant,” Eien responded, then realized that she was only exasperating herself further. She needed to hit the escape exit out of this conversation.

“Listen,” she said as she held up a hand in order to stop him from continuing along on his crazy train, “I don’t care what kind of knife you bring along, just don’t actually stab anyone.”

“No promises.”

“Great. Just great. Listen, Yanagi,” she said as she inched back towards the door, past the place where she had almost died, “If you do decide to stab someone, make sure that I’m not involved in any way. Think you can manage that?”

“Yeah, probably.”

She knew that was likely the best answer that she was going to get out of him.

Even so, her heart swelled once she was out of his room because she knew that she would get the chance to talk to Chie tonight.

That, alone, made all of the crazy worth it.


	2. Chapter 2

At about seven PM, the server’s chat practically blew up with people asking where, when, and what to wear. Eien listened in, though she didn’t say much in order to make sure that the questions what needed answering got answered.

At the present, Chie was asking the most questions.

**Cousteau:** Okay so.  
 **Cousteau:** Where are we going, who’s coming along, and what do we need to wear?

Yanagi, being the facilitator of this whole thing, answered the questions as best as he was able.

**Coleridge:** In order:  
 **Coleridge:** We’re heading to a Jazz club, live music and everything.  
 **Colerdige:** If you’re coming along, sound off.  
 **Coleridge:** And attire is just… standard club wear. Bring dancing shoes, though.

After that, people began to sound off, indicating that they were going to attend. Eien typed out her response carefully as not to seem too overeager to join in.

**Darwin:** im in  
 **Cousteau:** I’m going.  
 **Tesla:** Euclid and I are both in.  
 **King:** Turn down for what?  
 **Ocean:** fine ill come along.  
 **Cousteau:** Even though he’s not in the chat, Finn is going to be coming along as well.  
 **Andretti:** I’ll come if only to see how badly the clown dances.

In order, that was Eien herself, Chie, Akira and Jin, Yoro, Nezumi, Ryo, and Yu. Some people would find it a little bit confusing that the thief was named “Ocean” rather than the marine biologist, until one took into account that Mr. Hagakure was a bit of a movie aficionado and really loved heist films.

That aside, the place was about to blow up in a cascade of argument and mudslinging.

**Coleridge:** Joke’s on you, chem-burns. I can cut a rug better than you.  
 **Andretti:** Bullshit you couldn’t cut the cheese if you ate an entire can of beans.  
 **Coleridge:** Lucky I’m not trying to cut cheese, then.  
 **Andretti:** Are you intentionally this dense, or are you just trying to piss me off?  
 **Coleridge:** I have not yet begun to try.

Eien rolled her eyes at the bickering. If this was going to go on all night, it was going to get really old really quickly. She just prayed that the two would stay away from one another during the course of the evening. Instead, she tried to block out their sassing each other and focused on the remainder of the chat.

**Tesla:** So is it just us?  
 **King:** “Just us” you say. Like we don’t have a small army making our way to the club as it is.  
 **Ocean:** I think she means that there isn’t anyone else coming  
 **Tesla:** I tried asking Nero if he would join us, but he said he had a gig. Same thing with Carmen.

In order, those would be Oto and Marié. It made sense for a Saturday night that they would be going out in order to perform, but that made Eien wonder… where on earth was Marié going to be able to sing opera? Most of the opera houses in Japan were still being rebuilt, and that included the one in Tokyo.

**Ocean:** what about Williams and Beckham

Itsumi and Fumiko. Eien decided to chime in with this set.

**Darwin:** Beckham doesnt seem rlly social so i dont think shell come along  
 **Darwin:** and i think Williams has to be up early for practice 2morro  
 **Cousteau:** That makes sense. Oppenheimer?

Ah, yes. How could anyone forget the lovely, pleasant aroma of a certain Sueoka Hideo? Eien typed furiously, but Nezumi beat her to the punch.

**Ocean:** ye id rather not have to deal with the stench  
 **Ocean:** we have him with us we wont even get past the door

Thank goodness someone had a sense of smell in this chat. Eien knew that she couldn’t have been the only one to catch whiff of his stench. After all, it smelled like the muskrat that was posing as his hair had passed away a week ago and he had decided that it was a good idea to wear some roadkill as a toupee.

**Cousteau:** Fair point. So there will be 9 of us.  
 **Tesla:** Looks like. Hey Coleridge can you two stop fighting for like five seconds so you can give us the name of this place?  
 **Coleridge:** Yeah, it’s called “Don’t Tell Mama.” It’s about 3 blocks north of downtown.  
 **Tesla:** Thanks. And we’re meeting at 9?  
 **Coleridge:** Yup.  
 **Tesla:** Cool. I guess we should all get ready.  
 _User name “Tesla” has logged out._  
 _User name “Darwin” has logged out._

Even as Eien closed out of the chat, she saw that Yanagi and Yu had started up their bickering again. She wouldn’t have been surprised if he was picking out a knife just for the sheer purpose of pissing her off, though she would have been equally surprised if he didn’t bring a knife in the first place.

She knew that it was distinctly possible that the two would get into a fight tonight.

She also prayed that the bouncers would be able to stop them if they did.

Alex played with the toys in his cage, shaking about one of the bells and enjoying its jingling sound as he did so. After Eien stood up, he asked her, “What are you gonna do, mama?”

“Mama is going out with some of her classmates,” she responded, reaching into the cage and giving him a little scritch on the back of his head. He let out a pleased cluck and leaned into the motion before Eien pulled away.

“You didn’t hurt Yanagi?”

“No, I didn’t hurt him,” Eien said with a roll of her eyes, “I overreacted.”

“Good. I like him.”

“I know you do, baby,” she said with a little chuckle as she went over to her dresser. She briefly debated wearing something a little different than her usual attire of flannel, black tee, jeans, and Converse, but pondered whether or not she should mess with a good thing.

She only really wanted to talk to Chie. Not to come onto her like a drunken prom date. 

A little more rummaging, though, turned up a necklace that she had forgotten she owned. True, she had unpacked it, along with all of her other jewelry, but this one had remained forgotten, for the most part.

It was a western zodiac symbol, jade-enameled silver, styled in the astrological sign for Virgo. Eien put it around her neck, knowing full well that there was one person out there that would identify her as the very specific kind of garbage that she was, but she didn’t think it would be too much of a problem, considering the idea of low lighting and the fact that Yanagi was very unlikely to be staring at her chest.

At least she hoped not. That would turn their relationship really strange, really fast.

There wasn’t much ‘getting dressed’ to finish aside from putting on her shoes. Of course, since she was trying to impress a really cute girl tonight, she had to do something in order to make herself stand out.

Admittedly, there wasn’t much she could do on that front, not without completely changing her outfit or putting on (she shuddered) makeup.

Instead, she opted to take a scrubbing brush to the white tips of her Converse, that way they would shine in even the lowest light. She didn’t take pride in a lot of things about her appearance, but her walking-around shoes were one of them.

Cowboys had their boots.

Dorothy had her Ruby Slippers.

Hayabusa Eien had her red Converse High-tops.

Once the vinyl tip and the rubber band around the sole shone with purest white, Eien sat on her bed and pulled the shoes on before debating about her hair.

Life’s eternal question regarding Eien’s hair was to leave it down or pull it up into a ponytail. There was rarely an in-between on the best of days, and there was often a muttered phrase of, “Fuck it” on the worst (“forget it” if Alex was in earshot).

“Forget it,” she muttered to herself as she left it down. She brushed it out so there weren’t any tangles or snarls. Her hair settled to halfway down her back, and she scowled for a second. For her entire life, she’d had an inexplicable red streak at the start of her hairline. Throughout her entire life, people had asked her what hair dye she had used in order to make it look so natural.

It was natural.

It made her angry because this was some bullshit that would generally be assigned to an anime protagonist in order to make them stand out and let you know that they were special. Like that stupid card game anime with the idiotic hairstyles that seemed to defy gravity.

… Okay, maybe it wasn’t that bad, but she still felt like someone was going to ask her an unnecessary question tonight because of it.

As she contemplated the mind-boggling streak of read at the front of her hairline, a knock came at the door.

“Someone’s here, mama,” Alex said as he continued to play with his bell.

“Thank you, Alex,” Eien responded as she made her way over to the door. She gazed through the peephole and saw a set of very colorful braids on the other side.

Akira? Eien thought to herself, What’s she doing here?

Eien opened the door and stared at the petite electrical engineer. “Hello!” Akira said in a pleasant chirp, “Mind if I come in?”

“Um… no. Not at all,” Eien responded, stepping aside. She half expected Jin to follow Akira into the room, but she was, surprisingly, alone.

“I just wanted to come by and introduce myself formally,” Akira explained once she was further in the room. As a contrast to her long-sleeved shirt and overalls that she had been seen wearing previously, Akira now wore a pair of khakis and a plain white blouse. The combination of her outfit and skin gave Eien the inexplicable impression of coffee, cream, and sugar.

“That’s nice of you, though you didn’t have to. I think that everyone that’s worked with the Future Foundation in Japan knows who you are,” Eien explained. For the most part, it was true. Akira had managed to keep a variety of power sources running throughout the war, and had even created a series of electrical traps that had been used in the defense of several Future Foundation buildings.

One of the other people that Eien had fought alongside had put it best: “I love the smell of crispy-fried bear in the morning.”

Akira gave a laugh at Eien’s statement of recognition and sat, rather daintily, in a chair near Eien’s dresser, “Of course. Everyone knows the name, but so few people know the person. Honestly, I’m pretty sure that Jin is the only one that actually knows me for me.”

Eien sat on the edge of her bed and stared at her questioningly. “So are you two… um…”

“Dating?” Akira finished.

“Yeah. That.”

“On and off. Mostly on. I find him hilarious on good days and unbearable on bad ones. This wouldn’t be so bad if the bad days didn’t come in clusters,” Akira said, using her hands to illustrate her point. When she said “Clusters”, she made like she was pressing a ball into itself, reducing it in size.

“You always get back together, though?” Eien said, a little confused at the relationship.

“Yeah,” Akira said, “Why wouldn’t we? He gets me better than most. I think you may feel the same way about Yanagi.” She said that last sentence with a seemingly knowing smile and a tap on the side of her nose.

“Ah…” Eien said, embarrassed and trying to find the words, “We’re not… together.”

“Oh? But you hang out so often.”

“We’re just friends.”

“Shame. He’s cute,” Akira said with a chuckle.

“I don’t like guys like that.”

The openness about her sexuality didn’t even make Akira balk, which was something that Eien found to be increasingly common, and increasingly refreshing. Akira nodded and said, “I should have guessed. The flannel gives you away.”

Of course. The flannel. A prerequisite in the wardrobe of any card-carrying lesbian.

“I get the feeling you didn’t come over to chat about my wardrobe or my preferences,” Eien said, hoping that she could get to the heart of the matter.

“No, but it was a pleasant diversion while it lasted,” Akira admitted. “I was actually curious about why you’re coming along tonight.”

Eien blinked a few times before asking, “Are you asking everyone this kind of question?”

“Oh, no. With most people, it’s pretty easy to tell. Yanagi and Yoro are both writers, so it makes sense for them to go where the alcohol is. Ryo is probably along for the same reason, if the drinking gourd he always carries is anything to go by. Chie is a mariner at heart, so she’s probably going to view this as being ‘shore leave,’ Yu is there to annoy your friend, and Jin’s coming along because I am. I’m coming along because I like jazz. That leaves only you and Nezumi,” Akira explained, counting the two girls on her fingers.

“And you’re not talking to Nezumi… why?”

“You seem a lot more personable and I think you’re less likely to steal my wallet.”

“True. But there’s no accounting for what Alex will do,” Eien said, and the African Grey gave an irritated squawk.

“I do not steal!”

“You stole one of my Doritos earlier today, Alex, don’t try and kid me.”

There was silence before Alex said, “I stole a Dorito,” and returned to jingling his bell.

Akira found this to be rather hilarious, and covered her mouth lest she burst out into a giggle fit without end. Once she had composed herself, she continued, “In all honesty, I imagined that you would consider something like clubbing to be ‘for the birds.’ Pun intended.”

“Ha,” Eien said, unamused.

“Well, is it true?”

“I wouldn’t say that it’s not untrue,” Eien admitted, “I don’t like being around lots of people not in control of themselves.”

“So why would you want to come with?” Akira asked, getting to the crux of the matter.

“Because… well…” Eien bit her lip and stared at Akira, “Promise you won’t tell? I mean, it’s kind of embarrassing and juvenile, but I have a crush.”

“It’s on Chie, isn’t it.”

God dammit, did everyone know? Eien let out a deflated sigh and said, “Yeah, it’s on Chie.”

“Can’t blame you for that,” Akira said with a shrug, “She’s got a fire in her belly that would rival a Charizard’s.”

Immediately, Eien perked up and asked, “You’re a fan of Pokemon?”

“Yeah. I used to work for Nintendo before everything went south,” Akira said with a smile.

“That’s awesome!” Eien said, “What did you work on?”

“I was working on the integrated circuits and microprocessors for the next version of the Switch when the Tragedy struck.”

“You just kind of lost me there,” Eien said with an embarrassed expression. She knew about the Switch, and she knew that what Akira had just described was Electrical Engineering stuff, but she hadn’t understood a single bit of the lingo.

“That’s fair,” she said with a shrug as she stood up. “I’m actually about to go and get Jin. Would you like to come with?”

“Sure. Just let me take care of Alex, then I’ll join you,” Eien said as she rose as well.

Upon hearing his name, Alex stopped playing with his toys and glanced over at Eien. “Is Mama leaving?”

“Yes I am,” Eien responded as she gave him a little more birdseed. She tried to give him some additional sunflower seeds because she knew that those were his favorite, and blew him a quick kiss, “Be good. I’ll see you in the morning.”

“You be good too,” Alex said, making a kissing sound in return and nibbling on one of his seeds. Eien closed his cage’s door and made her way over where Akira waited in the hallway, killing the lights and closing the door behind her as she went.

The electronic lock clicked shut, and Akira led the way down the hall to Jin’s room. Briefly, Eien remembered that singular, insane moment from the first day of classes when she saw Jin shoving his bed down the hallway and letting it coast along.

“So does Jin actually sleep upside down like a bat?” Eien asked, a little curious and more than a little worried.

Akira gave a pleased chuckle at that thought and said, “You’ll see.”

She reached out and opened the door, and Eien felt like she was walking into something out of her strangest fever dreams.

The room was dark, for the most part. A set of LED lamps splashed white light on a desk that was covered in sketches and designs. In the background, the quiet sounds of Gregorian chanting played, and, occasionally, a pencil reached out to draw another line on one of the designs. The pencil came from no hand that was attached to a person sitting at the desk, since there was no person at the desk in the first place.

Instead, a familiar figure dangled from the ceiling, reaching down on occasion in order to draw with a steady hand that barely swayed with the motion of what appeared to be a leather harness that bound Jin and held him upside down from a rail on the ceiling.

Eien had to suppress a statement of “What the fuck” as she watched him work by only a few splashes of light. Akira was less stunned and more irritated.

“Jin!” she said, and the hand faltered for a second before it steadied and pencil touched paper anew.

“My conditions were perfectly set,” Jin said in a voice that seemed almost tired, “Whatfore must you disrupt my tranquility?”

“Because we’re leaving, Batman. Come on, get yourself down and get dressed.”

For the first time, Jin looked over at the two young women standing in his doorway and tilted his head in confusion, “I was not aware that you and Ms. Hayabusa were acquaintances.”

“Just made it. Now quit your jibber-jabbering and get your cryptic-sounding ass down here,” Akira said, “I know I told you about the plan tonight, so there’s no excuse for you to be acting like you don’t.”

“You assume under false pretenses that I investigate every message sent my way when I am in my reverie,” Jin said, though he did set the pencil down and start to adjust himself. He pulled on a rope that dangled down behind him, and he began to ease his way down until he was laying flat on the ground, face up.

“No, but I know you check the ones that are from me, no matter what time they arrive.” Akira said as she folded her arms. 

“Alas, you have trapped me in a lie. I confess, I was aware. Yet I wished to look upon your glorious visage once again.”

“God, you’re such a hopeless romantic.”

“As one should be when there is so little hope to go around and so much romance to be had.”

Eien leaned over and whispered in Akira’s ear, “Is he always this flowery because I think that he’s probably going to give Yanagi a run for his money.”

“Not always. Just when I’m not the only one in the room with him.”

“Great,” Eien responded sarcastically. Just what this class needed: another person putting on a ridiculous show for the purpose of sounding or appearing cool/mysterious.

Even so, she had to applaud Jin’s sense of theatricality. She didn’t know what purpose hanging upside down did for his talent as the Ultimate Architect, but she could at least admit that it probably offered a different perspective than sitting normally, which would definitely explain his designs.

Once Jin was freed from his harness, he pulled on the rope to ascend it to the ceiling once again, then launched it into a corner with a flick of the wrist on the rope. From the sound of it, the harness’s pulley was set up on a track that ran around the course of the room, allowing for him to bat-design anywhere in his space.

“Did you order that with your room, or did you have to set it up yourself?” Eien asked, a little curious. If their rooms were to be outfitted to cater to their talents, then she would have to put in a requisition for a larger cage for Alex, and possibly an incubator to hatch an egg or three.

“The irksome task of attaching my harnesses to yon ceiling fell onto my shoulders,” Jin explained as he made his way to a dresser and began changing, not really caring about the two women that were watching him.

Eien started to roll her eyes at his vocabulary, but instead chose to turn away because she did not want the image of Jin’s privates seared into her memory.

“Not interested?” Akira asked with a chuckle.

“I thought I made that clear earlier,” Eien responded almost immediately, her voice a bare hiss as she shot a glare in Akira’s direction.

“Don’t worry, I’ll look enough for the both of us,” Akira said with a very obvious sense of admiration in her voice.

Eien was already beginning to regret her decision. Not necessarily the decision of going out in hopes of having some time to talk to Chie and make a rapport with her, but she was definitely regretting the decision to open the door and let Akira into her room.

She zoned out and checked her phone while Akira and Jin discussed what he should wear, bantering back and forth like a much friendlier version of Yanagi and Yu. As she opened up the chat server, she could see that they were still going at it, rapid fire and incessant. Based on what she saw, there was nobody else in the chat with them, leaving only the pair to keep on throwing barbs back and forth.

_Logged onto Hope’s Peak Secure Chat Server_   
_All names have been redacted and replaced with usernames for the sake of safety and security_   
_User name “Darwin” has logged in_

**Andretti:** At least I know how to use a comb instead of throwing gel in my hair and expecting that to be all I need!  
 **Coleridge:** Big talk, coming from someone who probably got their Ultimate Talent out of a cereal box.  
 **Andretti:** At least I’ve been near a “box” in the past year!  
 **Coleridge:** Only while you’ve been unpacking. Or were you referring to your own?  
 **Andretti:** I’m going to kick your ass tonight, clown  
 **Coleridge:** Oh no I’m shaking in my little poet boots.  
 **Andretti:** I’m surprised nobody has led a protest against your shitty metaphors. “Get this motherfucker off the stage!” they should be screaming “He’s committing crimes against language.”  
 **Coleridge:** They have tried, but the only protests I am willing to respond to are hunger strikes. And even then I respond too late.  
 **Andretti:** Oooooh look at you with your sharp tongue.  
 **Coleridge:** Whetted on the grindstone of your heart.

_User name “Darwin” has logged out_

That was enough of that.

Eien found it rather stupefying that the two of them were so full of hot air and fury that they were able to keep at it like this for over an hour. Hell, if Yanagi didn’t stop bickering, he’d wind up showing up late to his own function.

Which meant that Akira would probably be the only person Eien would be comfortable around at the shindig, and even then: Barely.

After a little while more of the two of them arguing about Jin’s outfit, he finally came out wearing a long-sleeved white shirt tucked into a pair of black slacks, a driver’s cap, and a vest left open. “Does this outfit meet your exacting standards?” he asked, barely amused.

“Hm…” Akira stroked her chin thoughtfully and gave a shrug, “I suppose it will do,” she responded, though her voice was filled with a sense of mirth that hadn’t been there previously. Jin responded by moving in close to her and pulling her into a loving kiss.

Eien stood there, awkwardly, while the couple made out and eventually cleared her throat to get their attention once they had started adding tongue to the equation.

“Sorry,” Akira said as she pulled away and covered her mouth in embarrassment, “Got a little carried away.”

From the doorway, another voice chimed, “The two of you play a tonsil hockey game worthy of the Stanley Cup, you say you ‘got a little carried away.’”

Eien turned to face a familiar voice in an unfamiliar outfit. Hair that should have been cherry red was slicked back in the color of blood as she stepped through the doorway in a black dress and a pair of six-inch fuck-me pumps. “Yanagi and Yu have been bickering nonstop for the better part of an hour and a half, and they ‘got a little carried away.’ I bet that the police showed up to Jeffrey Dahmer’s house to find the corpses of a bunch of guys in his fridge only for him to shrug and say, ‘Whoops! Sorry! Guess I got a little carried away!’”

All three of them tilted their heads at the bizarre sight of a woman in a black cocktail dress walking into Jin’s room, trying to puzzle out who she was.

After a fashion, Eien recalled a statement thrown around on their first day in class with a similar structure and said, “Nezumi?”

The thief folded her arms under her breasts (which Eien noticed were considerably bigger than all the times she had seen her previously) and cocked a hip out, looking the perfect image of a honeypot in a spy drama. “What? Surprised?”

“I believe that assessment would fall under the category of ‘thoroughly accurate,’” Jin said with a sense of wonder. “Without the panoply of piercings lodged in your face, you ascend into the realm of the unrecognizable.”

As he had mentioned, Nezumi had removed all but two of the piercings in each ear, and the pockmarks from the piercings themselves were barely noticeable. With a simple change of costume, the Ultimate Thief had made herself into a beautiful woman that should be seducing foreign dignitaries in order to gain access to state secrets.

There were still two questions that were left unanswered, though, and Akira asked the first, “Okay, so where did those come from?”

Nezumi responded to the question as if she had been asked it a thousand times (and she likely had), “I bind them so they don’t get in the way of my work. And that better be the last question any of you ask about my rack tonight,” she said as she gestured at the three of them.

Eien didn’t have any intentions of asking anything further on that subject, mainly because that was just plain rude. However, she did ask the second question that needed answering: “So… why are you coming with us tonight?”

“Listen, kid,” Nezumi said, though Eien had a distinct feeling that the thief was actually younger than she was, “I’m going to fill you in on a trade secret. If you can get your drinks for free, do so. Because any man that likes the scent of a woman will do anything to catch another whiff.”

Eien started to regret her decision to go out tonight. If there were guys like the ones that Nezumi was describing roaming around, she would want to stay as far away from them as she possibly could. Honestly, considering that her outfit was much more modest than Nezumi’s, she suspected that the thief would garner a great deal more attention than Eien herself.

Akira snapped her out of her reverie by clapping Eien on the back. “Come on, Birdman! Let’s hit the town!”

Eien didn’t really feel like hitting anything at this point.

The group of four made their way out of Hope’s Peak’s front doors and hailed a cab once they made their way to the main street. Eien marveled at the fact that Nezumi not only stood as the tallest in the group in her heels, but that she was able to walk so effortlessly in them. Eien could count the number of times she had worn heels in her entire life on one hand, and most of those times had resulted in her falling flat on her face at least once during the course of the evening.

For the most part, Eien was left alone with her thoughts. A message buzzed in her pocket, and it clearly buzzed in everyone else’s as well, because Akira and Jin both pulled their phones from their pockets. Nezumi didn’t move, though, mainly because the dress she was wearing didn’t have pockets of any kind.

“Apparently there’s a password to get in,” Akira explained to the other two girls, “Yanagi paused in his bickering with Yu long enough to get the word out.”

“What’s the password?” Nezumi asked. Locked doors she could get into given enough time, but guarded ones were a different story. Admittedly, she probably would have broken in through the back room rather than going through the front, but that wasn’t the mood for tonight.

“It’s ‘The Old Man sent me.’” Akira explained, then showed her phone to Eien and Nezumi to confirm. 

“I wonder if the password is always like that,” Eien mused, “You know, to keep this idea of it being some kind of crazy exclusive club.”

“I don’t think so,” Akira commented in return, “Because otherwise they’d have a house so packed that people can’t move night after night.”

“Indeed, that would be a rather unsavory experience,” Jin agreed.

“So why a jazz club?” Nezumi asked, “It seems like it’s a little extra, even for Yanagi.”

“I don’t think that anything’s too extra for him,” Eien muttered, rubbing the bridge of her nose between thumb and forefinger. 

“I don’t think you’re wrong,” Nezumi said in return.

The rest of the cab ride went along rather smoothly until they pulled up outside of a brick-sided building with a single wooden door and no windows. A neon sign above the door hummed quietly in red and green, reading “Don’t Tell Mama” in cursive print.

Jin paid the cabbie and stepped out of the taxi, making his way over to the door, and the other three followed suit. Eien tried to put herself as close to Akira as possible, because the streets were empty and littered with scraps of newspaper, and she felt ill at ease.

Jin pounded on the thick door for a moment, and one of the panels swung open to reveal half of a dour face. “Password?”

“The Old Man sent me,” Jin said, and the hatch closed up. There were the sounds of a few locks coming undone before the door swung wide, revealing a doorman that was less of a “man” and more of a “walking wall of meat.”

“Come on in,” the doorman said, and stepped aside. Eien kept her head low, marking her as a mouse among a group of lions, but the doorman said nothing.

“I have a bad feeling about this,” Eien said, and she glanced up at the sour-faced bouncer, and they descended into the building. Descended! It felt like Eien was walking into hell rather than a bar.

The narrow staircase soon opened up into a massive space, with a bar all along one side and a few tables set out, surrounding a dance floor that stood adjacent to a stage. Above, a balcony wrapped around the inside of the building, with spiral staircases at either end that allowed patrons, waiters, and waitresses to ascend or descend. All tables and chairs were situated so they could watch the show.

A thin haze of cigarette and cigar smoke wafted through the air, and Eien moved her hand to her mouth to cover it slightly. She didn’t like the smell of smoke, nor did she like the effect that it had on birds, but if this is what she had to endure, then she would deal. It would just take a little getting used to. Up on the stage, a single piano rested while a man played a lilting jazz melody, coursing through the air and settling on the rims of the glasses at various tables in order to make them sing.

“You folks are just in time,” another bouncer said at the foot of the stairs, “The main show starts in about half an hour. Find yourselves a table and settle in.”

Another voice joined them, saying, “They’re with me Kenta,” and Yanagi stepped onto the scene. Instead of his usual attire, he wore a three-piece suit and a hat that made him look like an Italian mobster from one of those old American films.

Off to the side, Eien heard Nezumi mutter, “So extra.”

“Absolutely, Mr. Kurokawa,” the bouncer said, and gestured for them to follow their classmate.

“Okay, Yanagi,” Akira said, “What the hell? How did you manage this?”

“A gentleman has ways,” he said with a roguish smile, “But since I’m not a gentleman, I have more.”

“Har. Har. Har,” Nezumi said as they made their way to a large table with room enough for everyone to take their seats. However, as Eien made her way around one side, she felt her heart skip a beat.

Chie and Ryo were already seated and nursing beverages of their own. Chie’s glass was short and smelled slightly of cola. Ryo’s was tall and had enough fruit pieces sticking out of it that Eien thought she could dive into the jungle atop his beverage and fall in love with a gorilla.

But what made Eien’s heart skip was not the expected occurrence of Chie being there in the first place, but rather the fact that, just as so many times before, she was absolutely gorgeous. She had managed to take a step away from her standard pirate garb while still keeping the same general look. Instead of a poofy shirt with laces near the collar and a leather vest, she wore a button down with a black satin number, left undone.

High-class pirate. It wasn’t even warm in the bar, and Eien was already sweating.

The piano man’s fingers continued to dance across the ivories, and Yanagi gestured for the rest of the group to take their seats. “Who wants what to drink?”

“You’re buying the first round?” Nezumi asked.

“You’ll have to tag me back later,” Yanagi confirmed, and Nezumi frowned. She wasn’t going to get some kind of high-end drink for free from him.

“Jack and Coke,” Nezumi muttered, clearly dissatisfied.

“Asahi,” Jin said.

“Bourbon, neat,” Akira chimed in.

“Water, please,” was all Eien ordered.

Yanagi went off to get their drinks and returned with them in almost no time at all. The crowd was starting to file in, get their drinks, and sit at the tables, bit by bit. It wasn’t long until Yoro and Yu showed up.

When Yorokobi first came by, Eien had to blink a few times before the recognition set in. Her face was dusted with blush and devoid of her usual glasses. Her lips were done up in the same hellfire red as the floor-length dress she wore, and her hair was pulled back in a tight ponytail.

Yanagi didn’t recognize her either, it seemed, because he was a little stunned when she ran a playful finger down the front of his chest and asked in a coy voice, “Care to buy a lady a drink, handsome?”

A few drooling seconds later, Chie chimed in with an, “Oh my god, you get distracted by a pretty face and immediately shut down. That’s Yorokobi, you moron!”

Chie was apparently the only one that recognized her, because everyone else immediately snapped to attention and started greeting her the way they would an old friend. Yorokobi, to her credit, let out a raucous laugh and said, “Please, please. No need for formality. Just call me Yoro tonight. Or any other night, for that matter. We’re here to have fun, aren’t we?” She shot Eien a playful wink that immediately made her poor lesbian heart do an unwelcome somersault.

Once Yoro had her cocktail (a dry martini to fit her Bond Girl self-image), hell broke loose.

She walked in with a swagger that she hadn’t worn previously, a crisp grey suit and a black t-shirt belied her former station as a card-carrying member of the Yakuza, and a pair of black leather shoes clicked on the floor as she made her way down the bar. As Yu approached, Yanagi stood up straight, adopting the same posture that had run rampant on the streets of New York and Chicago from the late 1910s to the fifties.

The two stood across from one another, their appearances matching different gangs across different eras, and Yanagi gave a disapproving “tsk” as he turned away from her.

That, more than anything else, drove her over the edge. Yu sneered and reached out to grab Yanagi’s shoulder and spin him around. Her trick worked, but he shifted within her grip and his hand moved to up under her chin.

There was no knife in his hand. Instead, there was only his finger, pressing up against the soft underside of her mouth, and a wry smile on his face. Yu twitched, knowing that she would be dead right now if he so desired, and Yanagi only smiled, “That was your warning shot.”

They straightened up, and Yanagi took his seat as, on the stage, the piano was wheeled away. A man came out with a microphone stand and set it right in the center of the stage while the curtain rose on a small jazz band behind him consisting of an upright bass, drum set, cabinet piano, trumpet, and saxophone.

“Good evening, ladies and gentlemen!” the man said. He wore a navy blue pinstripe suit and a bowtie under a broad smile and a pencil-thin mustache. However, despite the stigma associated with that kind of facial hair, he did not come across as creepy.

“We welcome you to our stage,” he said as everything settled down. He was a master of his craft, able to command a room with sheer force of stage presence alone, and swept his gaze across the club, seeming to lock eyes with everyone all at once, “And we have a treat for you tonight. A newcomer to our little cabaret with a voice of an angel. I present to you: Ramona Wonder!”

The singer stepped out onto the stage as the room rippled with applause, and Eien’s eyes widened.

“No. Fucking. Way.”


	3. Chapter 3

“What was that?” Yoro asked, shifting her gaze over to Eien. She had been so fixated on the constantly brewing conflict between Yanagi and Yu that she hadn’t really been paying attention to what was going on with the stage.

“No. Fucking. Way,” Eien repeated, then pointed to the stage to draw Yoro’s attention.

“No fucking way!” Yoro said excitedly, then started to nudge Yanagi, “Yanagi! Look!”

He shifted his gaze up to the stage and balked, blinked a few times, then downed the rest of his drink before he said, “No fucking way.”

The statement was repeated a few more times around the table as everyone took a look at the singer that stepped out onto the stage. Her pale shoulders were left bare by a floor-length silver gown that whisked along the floor as she walked, and raven-black curls played about them as she made her way to the microphone. Long, slender fingers curled around the stem of the microphone stand, and her free hand moved up to adjust her sunglasses before they adjusted the microphone so it was only a palm’s breadth from ruby-painted lips.

“Ramona Wonder,” it seemed, was an alias for “Kaneshiro Marié.”

The band started to play, quietly, brushes striking softly against the drum skins while the bassist expertly laid down a beat. Marié’s hips cocked and straightened in time, the tempo filling her while the piano, sax, and horns roared to life behind her. They immediately dropped down as she began to sing, and her head scanned the audience as she gave a slow smile and those rose-red lips parted.

Hey, handsome, have you got the time?  
I’ve been watching you since the moment you arrived.  
A white suit from London,  
And shoes from Paris.  
Don’t you want to spend about an hour with me?

Everyone at the table’s jaws were dropping open, one by one, and it was Nezumi that voiced the question that was on everyone’s minds first.

“What the fuck?”

“I have no idea,” Ryo said with a shake of his head, his dreadlocks flicking about as he did so.

“I thought she was an opera singer,” Jin commented.

“She is,” responded Yanagi, just as a crescendo rose up and the song hit its first chorus. Marié’s hands moved up to her hair, rustling under it and lifting it high as she sang.

_All it costs is just a minute, now._  
_For one dollar, you can show me how._  
_I’ll take your hand and then your worries, too._  
_In just one dance I’ll make your dreams_  
_Come._  
_True._

Her voice faded away into crooning that wafted out across the cabaret and settled in the ears of everyone that listened to her. Yanagi felt that this revelation required a drink, and a very strong one at that. “Fuck it,” he said as he stood, making his way to the bar. “I’m getting a drink.”

“Same,” Nezumi said as she fell in behind him. With her heels, she was a mere six inches shorter than he was, instead of what was almost a foot otherwise.

Chie downed her drink and went with them, shaking her head in confusion. She didn’t see Eien reaching out to stop her, but Ryo certainly did.

He reached into a breast pocket of the leather jacket he wore and pulled out a simple tin flask, passing it over to her, unscrewed. “You’re in love. Have a drink.”

Eien caught whiff of what must have been lighter fluid before she pushed it away, responding with, “No! My body is a temple.”

“Make it an amusement park,” Ryo said as he took a belt of his own moonshine as if to accentuate his point.

“I don’t drink, Ryo,” she said as she gave him a cold stare.

Ryo only shrugged and put his flask away, “More for the rest of us, then.”

“I just… want to talk to her,” she said with a sigh.

“Then do it.”

“I can’t!” Eien responded in exasperation, “She’s just so… ugh!”

“I don’t think that’s an adjective,” Akira said, off to the side.

“Adje-what?” Ryo said.

“A way of describing her,” responded Akira.

“Oh, that.”

“Still,” Eien continued, “I came out here not to drink or dance, but to get a little bit of time alone with her. She’s so pretty and I don’t know how to talk to other girls.”

“You can talk to me just fine,” Akira offered.

“Not the same.”

Yu, off to the side, gave a quick chuckle, and said, “Then have a drink. It’s called liquid courage for a reason.”

“I already tried that,” Ryo offered.

“I don’t like being out of control,” Eien said sourly.

“Alright, I can respect that,” Yu said, and Eien blinked a few times. Yu, respecting something she did? Up until this point, such a notion was inconceivable.

“So what do you plan to do?” Yu asked after taking a sip of her own beverage. She set the glass down and sent a calm stare in Eien’s direction. This unexpected friendliness and kindness was throwing the ornithologist off, to say the least.

Eien voiced her concerns. “Who are you and what have you done with Yu?”

“Listen, kiddo,” Yu said, and Eien bristled at the thought of being called a child even though she was likely older than the speaker, “You and that wordsmithing fuckbucket alike are too goddamn dense for your own good. You should have realized by now that the whole ‘tough alpha bitch’ thing was an act.”

Eien blinked a few times more and said, “What?”

“The only one that hasn’t picked that up so far is Fuckwit McWordsalot over there,” she said as she jerked a thumb over to the bar. “And, honestly, I think it’s just because he’s an asshole.”

“I don’t know if you’re wrong on that one,” Ryo said as he took another swig from his flask and proffered it to Yu.

“You’re the one that’s friends with him, so you’d probably know best,” Yu responded before she took a belt. She coughed and spoke in a wheeze as she shakily passed the flask back to Ryo. “What the fuck do you have in there, lighter fluid?!”

Ryo took another drink as he let out a low chuckle and said, “This shit’s good for two things: removing barnacles and killing brain cells.” He replaced the flask in his pocket and returned to the (presumably) much milder drink on the table. On the stage, Marié went through a second chorus, her voice rising in a vibrating crescendo before dropping down into a low croon. The pianist started to play a little solo of his own before they launched into a final refrain.

_All it costs is just a minute, now._  
_For one dollar, you can show me how._  
_I’ll take your hand and then your worries too._  
_In just one dance, I’ll make your dreams_  
_Come._  
_True._  
_I’ll make your dreams come-_  
_I’ll make your dreams come true~~_

The song faded away and there were whistles, cheers, and applause from the crowd, a few stogie-smoking men standing up and giving her a very raucous round of applause as the final note on the saxophone dispersed into the air.

Marié smiled and nodded to the crowd as the applause died down and the next song began. The upright bassist began to play a slow, driving line as the trumpet player grabbed a muffler and held it up to the bell of his instrument so he could add a little more “wah-wah” to his sound.

The drums joined in, and, eventually, Marié began to sing again in a low, lilting voice, much more downbeat than the previous song.

_I’m gonna fight ‘em off…_  
_A seven-nation army couldn’t hold me back…_  
_They’re gonna rip it off…_  
_Takin’ their time right behind my back…_

As the second song began, Yanagi returned with what looked like two fingers of a brown liquid in a highball glass for himself, and what appeared to be a glass of orange juice that he set down in front of Eien.

“I only wanted water,” Eien said sourly.

“Just drink the juice, you nerd. It’ll make you feel better.”

Eien took a sip, and there was an unexpected bitterness to it, but nothing that seemed out of place. She drank again and felt herself relaxing. Maybe Yanagi was right.

“So, clown,” Yu said as she draped herself across her seat, “What made you want to come here? Knew that our little siren was going to be performing?”

“Her being here is as much a surprise to me as it is to everyone else at this table, I assure you,” Yanagi said, and his voice was convincing enough that Eien believed him.

Yu, however, was not so easily convinced.

“You know what I think, clown?” Yu said with a chuckle as she raised her glass up to her lips. “I think you have a crush on her.”

“And why would you think that.”

Yu took a sip and set the glass down on the table with a barely-audible clink. “She’s the only woman in our class that can’t see how ugly you are.”

Yanagi was reaching for his own glass for a sip of his beverage, but stopped just a hand’s breadth short from it and pulled away, standing up to let Nezumi and Chie back into their seat. “Nonsense,” he said, brushing the statement off as easily as he could, “If I stand on Chie’s bad side, she could easily fit the bill.”

“Fit the bill for what?” Chie asked, having missed the first part of the conversation.

“Someone that can’t ‘see how ugly I am,’” Yanagi said, gesturing blithely with one hand as a way of mocking Yu’s statement.

“Hah!” Chie said as she took her seat, “I think you’re ugly no matter what.”

“Aw,” Yanagi said, the barb at his appearance having no effect on his sense of self-worth, “And why is that?”

“I don’t like guys,” Chie said. Eien’s heart soared, and she took a long drink of her juice to hide the blush that was appearing on her face.

“That’s fair,” Yanagi said as he raised his glass to her in toast, “Neither do I.”

Chie let out a laugh and clinked it against Yanagi’s own before they both took a drink. Once they set the glasses down, Yanagi gestured over to Yu and asked, “So what about you? Are you as much of a rampaging lesbian as Chie?”

“Hey!” Chie said, taking mock exception to the statement, “I haven’t rampaged… recently.”

There was a chuckle that rippled through the table, save Yu. She instead shrugged the question off and said, “I’m open to offers. Just not from clowns. Last time I hooked up with one, I felt funny inside for a week.”

Yanagi had to pause and close his eyes in order to stop himself from laughing at the pun. This was half because he didn’t want to give her the satisfaction of knowing that she made him laugh, and half because he was in the process of taking a drink of water and didn’t want to spray it all over the table. That would be just plain rude.

Everyone else, however, laughed at the pun. Ryo gave a low chuckle and pulled out his flask again, taking another drink and moving it towards Eien’s glass as if he was going to pour some in. She quickly covered the top of the glass with her hand and shot him a cold glare, which only caused him to laugh louder.

Yanagi finished his drink and set it down, taking a long breath before he conceded, “I will give that one to you.” His voice was noticeably harsher, as if some of the liquor had gone down the wrong pipe, but he cleared up right away. “To be honest, I always thought you were too pigheaded to understand much of anything relating to subtlety. But I guess you can teach a pig to sing, after all.”

Yu’s lip twitched, as if she wanted to sneer at the porcine references to her person, though she restrained herself. Eien shriveled in on herself, wanting to curl away from all of the hostility that was showing its face at the table, and the second song faded out.

The next song was “La Vie En Rose” a la Louis Armstrong, followed by “Stray Cat Strut.” It wasn’t until the fifth song in the set that Jin and Akira got really excited and tried to make their way out to the dance floor.

_We’re gonna rock this town,_  
_Rock it inside out._  
_We’re gonna rock this town,_  
_Make ‘em scream and shout._

A couple of other couples made their way down to the dancefloor and started to bust out some fancy swing moves. By this point in the evening, the club was pretty much full, and no other admissions were being allowed past the door. There was still room for people to move around, and there was plenty of space out on the dancefloor despite the handful of couples that dominated it with blues and swing style moves. Jin and Akira’s footwork was particularly noteworthy, as they moved with a practiced ease, with him leading and her following effortlessly.

“I need me a freak like that,” Eien muttered. As the couple had left for the dancefloor, everyone else had filled in the space that they had left vacant, which meant she was now sitting right next to Chie. On her other side, Yanagi stood up so Nezumi could get free, which meant that she now had the closest thing to her best friend sitting on her right.

“What was that?” Chie said, and Eien snapped to attention, looking over at the Marine Biologist with a flustered expression.

“Well I… um… I,” she stammered out. Only now did she suspect that Yanagi had put something into her orange juice. She would give him a thumping later, but for now she could only blame her tastebuds and the empty glass sitting right in front of her. “I kinda want to have someone to dance with like that,” she said despite her conscious mind slamming the “red alert” and “fuck no don’t do that” buttons in rapid succession.

“Are you particularly picky?” Chie said, turning to face Eien more fully, now. Eien’s eyes fixed on Chie’s good one, and that piercing ice blue seemed so warm and earnest that Eien thought she would melt.

“No… not really,” Eien said, “I mean, I’m not really into guys, but if it’s just for dancing, that’d be fine.”

“So you’re into girls?” Chie asked, her expression changing slightly, though Eien couldn’t quite place what it changed to. She would have to hit Yanagi with something hard and heavy and make sure that Alex was out of earshot for all the things she would have to say about the matter.

“I mean, yeah. Girls are nice,” Eien said, trying to brush it off. She tucked her hair back over her ear, suddenly self-conscious about the red streak that ran through it.

“I can get behind that,” Chie said in agreement as the song died out and another one started up of a similar variety. She glanced at her drink, then at Eien. She downed the beverage and asked, “Want to cut a rug?”

Eien was so stunned by the question that she wasn’t able to speak. All she could do was nod and follow along as Chie gingerly took her hand and led her out onto the dance floor. Eien might have heard Yanagi say “atta girl” but she really didn’t register the idea until she was dancing. She started to speak up, but then her feet were forced to move by Chie leading the dance. In the background, Marié sang an excited tune, moving her feet in a short cha-cha as she did so.

Eien spun, twirled, and moved, barely able to take her eyes off of Chie’s, save for those moments when her gaze was taken away by the movements of a turn or a reel. Internally, she was trying to make sure she didn’t step on anyone’s toes, least of all her dance partner’s. Externally, she was in a daze, unable to really focus on anything because she was under the impression that this was all just a dream.

Eventually, the song came to a close with Marié singing lyrics about a “liquid lunch,” and Eien felt just as drunk as the character of the song during her bender the night before. She didn’t know whether it was because of what Yanagi had put in her drink (she made yet another mental note to give him a sound drubbing for that) or if it was because of her own flustered delirium, or, possibly, if it was because of the environment being so intoxicating all by itself.

Chie’s hands were still holding Eien’s, and when Eien snapped out of her reverie, she felt so embarrassed that the only thing she could mutter was, “Sorry if I stepped on your toes.”

“Only once or twice,” Eien explained, then felt herself swaying, and Chie had to catch her. They were of a height, so Eien’s head settled in the crook of Chie’s neck, prompting a “whoa!” from her rescuer.

“Are you alright?”

“A little dizzy,” Eien said dreamily. Chie smelled like salt and brine, and that was more intoxicating than anything else in the bar up to that point. She had never thought that she would be so in love with something that was so close to the sea.

“Yeah, we had a few spins here and there, so that’s to be expected,” Chie said casually as they paused at a little two-top just short of their own table. Eien checked her watch, wondering how late they had been out, and saw that not even an hour had passed for them since they had arrived at the club.

“I think I’m done dancing for the night,” Eien said with a little chuckle that was designed to be playful, but probably came across as idiotic.

“Yeah, I think it’s for the best if you keep your seat, too,” Chie said as they took the last few steps to their party’s booth. Ryo had gone up to the bar to get a beverage that could hopefully match his desire for something in the neighborhood of 220 proof alcohol, and Nezumi had started working her charms on a couple of men at the bar, working her (still surprisingly) ample bust and little black dress to her full advantage.

The song on the stage ended, and the Master of Ceremonies came back out to the stage to thank Ms. “Ramona Wonder” for performing for them today, and informing the crowd that she would be back for another set in an hour.

“For the time being, though,” the MC explained, to a couple of sounds of disappointment from the crowd, “Please give a round of applause for the continued performance of our house band, the Big Daddy Revue!”

A few cheers went up as the drummer started to play a poppin, hoppin, and (dare we say it) jumpin rhythm, and a few more people made their way out to the dance floor, including Yanagi and Yoro.

“Of course,” Eien said with a chuckle as she leaned slightly on Chie’s shoulder. She didn’t see the expression on Chie’s face, but it was one of slight worry. She looked over at Akira, who only offered a shrug in return to the sight of her plight.

“The two writers are hookin’ up,” Eien finished. It was a statement with a little bit of a slur, a little drowsiness, and a goofy little chuckle at the end.

“You really think that they’re hooking up?” Akira said with a raised eyebrow.

“Yup,” Eien said as she sat up (much to Chie’s relief), she gestured out at the dance floor as the horns and piano joined in with the rhythm line. Yoro and Yanagi were dancing surprisingly well together, and Jin let out a low whistle in appreciation. “Yanagi said that he and Yoro spent last night together,” Eien continued, “Sez they were just workin’ on writin’, but I know better.”

Yu rolled her eyes and said, “You really think a bombshell like her would want to spend time with a schmuck like him?”

“Yup.”

“Alright. That’s fair,” Yu conceded as the pair in question continued to dance. “Their talents are in the same wheelhouse, I suppose.”

“They both do the thing with the words,” Eien agreed, though her expression changed to one of confusion and shock as Yu stood up and started to make her way out to the dance floor, “What are you doin?”

“I’m going to cut in,” Yu responded as she made her way out to the dance floor.

There was no way that this wasn’t going to end badly. Ryo returned to the table with something that looked closer to a stein of beer than a cocktail, though the foam on the top was inexplicably blue, insinuating that the beverage was something more than what it seemed. “Oh dear,” he said, catching on to the air at the table.

Jin, however, was a little more curious about the drink that looked large even in the Ultimate Fisherman’s massive paw. “Might I inquire about the nature of the beverage you carry with you?”

“This?” Ryo said as he took a seat next to Chie. Eien could smell the alcohol wafting off the beverage from where she sat, and had the distinct impression that, if she held a lit match over the top of it, the fumes would catch on fire. “I asked them for the strongest drink they had, and a lot of it. And then I added my home brew.” He took a long pull of the stein, draining a quarter of it in one go, then let loose a massive belch that wafted across the table and made Jin sway in his seat. After his forehead collided with the tabletop, however, Jin immediately sat up with watery eyes.

“Heavens above and hells below,” Jin said as he waved the rest of the fumes away from his face, “How are you not wandering the land of the dead just yet?”

“The night is still young,” Ryo commented as he redirected his attention out to the dance floor.

Yu had cut in, and was now dancing with Yoro. Despite the rivalry, Yanagi was laughing, almost bent double at the sight, and eventually cut back in, though he took Yoro’s place in the steps, much to Yu’s chagrin.

“Oh no,” Akira said quietly.

Yu wore an expression of extreme disdain partially because of the person that she was dancing with, and partially because of the fact that she was put in the position to follow, rather than to lead. Furthermore, something that likely served only to irritate her further, was the expression of glee on Yanagi’s face.

Despite wanting to see how everything turned out, Yoro made her way back to the table and took her seat next to Jin, where a scent of powerful liquor still lingered. “Holy shit, who killed a skunk then chucked in a whiskey barrel for a year?”

“Me,” Ryo said as he raised his hand. His stein was a third empty, evidently becoming much more difficult to drink after the first pull.

“Let me see that,” Yoro said as she grabbed the stein with both hands and lifted it up to her ruby-colored lips. Everyone at the table started to protest, but it was far too late. She had started chugging away, and managed to take out another third of the stein all by herself.

She let out a long breath that made Ryo’s eyes water and Chie cover her mouth. Eien, wisely, had scooted away from the cloud of alcoholic vapor and cozied up to Akira’s arms for a sense of solace.

“Whoo!” Yoro said as she thrust a hand up in the air, “That’s good shit. I feel a little woozy, though.”

“That’s probably the Everclear,” Ryo admitted before he took another swig of his own. Eien had heard legends of the beverage. Ninety percent alcohol and more likely to be used as fuel in some kind of exotic car rather than a drink at a tavern. The sheer thought of the beverage made her skin crawl and a chill run down her spine.

“You’re not jusht bumpin gumsh,” Yoro said. With each passing word, she sounded like her tongue was growing fat in her mouth and couldn’t quite be contained anymore. She looked up at Akira with a loving gaze and a smile on her lips before she said, “Heyyyy… Wanna join me in my room tonight?”

Akira glanced at Jin, then back at Yoro with a shake of the head and a very blunt statement of, “No.” Though, admittedly, her expression was slightly amused, if not overwhelmingly earnest.

“Oh, fiddleschticksh,” Yoro muttered and cozied up against Akira’s chest again, “I thought that would work.”

Akira began to laugh, only to glance towards the dance floor as a few people gasped and someone’s body hit the floor. Everyone at the table immediately shot up to go and see what happened, with the obvious exception of Yoro, and the slightly less obvious exception of Ryo, who stayed behind to finish his drink.

As Eien ran up to the group, any and all semblance of her dreamlike state washed away by the sight of Yanagi and Yu standing, side by side, over the body of a man that, futilely, tried to get to his feet.

“Next time, you’ll do well to keep your fuckin’ hands off my ass!” Yu roared at him and drove her foot into the offender’s side.

“Nice hook, Blue,” Yanagi said in sincere admiration, taking a pocket handkerchief and handing it over to Yu so she could press it to her skinned knuckles. 

Chie stared at the groaning man on the ground, then at the very obviously still-conscious Yanagi. “Surprised you’re still standing,” she commented.

“I knew exactly where both of his hands were,” Yu responded as the MC and a pair of bouncers came walking up.

“Alright, alright!” The MC said as he held up his hands to calm everyone down, “Just a minor tussle. Now, miss, what’s the cause of this ruckus.”

The offender that lay, barely conscious on the ground, began to respond, “Fuggen bidch hit me… broke muh fuggen jaw…”

“And yet you still speak,” Yanagi commented.

Yu, on the other hand, took a much less subtle approach. “You better consider yourself fucking lucky that I don’t shove your teeth up your dickhole, you miserable little cockaroach!”

One of the bouncers, the same slab of man that had “greeted” Eien, Nezumi, Akira, and Jin at the door, wisely moved between the mess of a man on the ground and the blue-haired bombshell that was ready to give him another knuckle sandwich.

“Listen, boss,” The MC was saying to Yanagi, “We’re not gonna eighty-six you and your lady. But it would probably be the best if you left for the evening.”

“I understand,” Yanagi said before he bowed to the man and made his way towards the door. “Yu, come on. We should get out of here before there’s any more trouble.”

Despite his polite admonishments, Yu was still stuck on a single phrase that had passed from the MC’s lips. “Whoa, whoa, whoa. His lady?! Listen here, you combed-over sack of shit: I ain’t that blowhard fuckwit’s lady. I will never be that blowhard fuckwit’s lady. And if you ever insinuate that again, I swear to god that I will – Hey!”

She was interrupted by the great meaty paws of Shinkai Ryo clasping around her waist and flinging her over his shoulder.

“Sorry for the mayhem, folks,” he said as he nodded to the MC and bouncers. Over his shoulder, Yu tried to slam her fists on his back and swear up a storm about how he should put her down, etc, etc. but it was all to no avail. Ryo simply made his way back to the exit to the club and set Yu down right in front of the stairwell.

Eien and Nezumi followed, the latter significantly more inebriated than when she had left them, and let out a low chuckle at the sight of Yu trying to get past the man that blocked her passage and calmly ushered her up the stairs. Akira trotted over to Eien and said, “I still need to settle my tab and gather up Yoro. We’ll meet you outside, okay?”

“Okay,” Eien said as Chie moved up alongside her.

“Well,” the other girl remarked, causing a chill to run up Eien’s spine, “Until someone started throwing hands, it was a pretty fun night.”

“Shame it came to an end so soon,” Nezumi murmured as she started to ascend the stairs. Notably, she used both handrails in order to guide herself up, which gave Eien an idea of just how far gone she was. After all, as ridiculous as those heels may seem, she had no trouble walking in them previously.

Once they were topside, Yanagi greeted them outside the front door. He had donned his wide-brimmed fedora and had a cigarette dangling out of the corner of his mouth, staring quietly at the people that ascended from the club. “Welcome back to the land of the living,” he said, dramatic as always.

“Wiseass,” Yu growled at him as he lit his smoke. She, too, took a cigarette out of a pack in her breast pocket, and expressed mild surprise as he offered the flame to her as well.

So it went. Akira, Jin, and Yoro soon joined them as well, with the latter barely able to stand without assistance. Fortunately for all parties involved, she did not seem in danger of throwing up, and instead wobbled and swayed precariously with her arm draped over Jin’s shoulder.

Akira flagged down a cab, a van of yellow and checker print, and helped Yoro into it. Nezumi and Ryo climbed in the back seat while Jin took shotgun. “I will await your return to Hope’s Peak, friends of friends,” Jin said as the doors closed shut and the cab took off.

That left four.

Yanagi and Yu smoked, standing next to their respective friends of Eien and Chie. Eien felt that same dizzy, woozy feeling from before come back to her, and her fingers twitched towards Chie’s hand, wanting to take them into her palm.

She tucked her hand into her pocket instead. Holding hands seemed like a stupid idea. Chie would probably think it was stupid. She felt stupid even wanting to suggest it.

After a fashion, Yanagi finished up his cigarette and stepped forward to hail a cab, a standard model sedan this time, and held the door for the three ladies while he called shotgun.  
Eien was on the far left of the back seat. Chie in the middle. Yu on the right. The cab took off, and the lights passing by the outside of the taxi made Eien feel more and more drowsy.

Her head lolled onto Chie’s shoulder, but she didn’t even care as she drifted away into dreamland.


	4. Chapter 4

When Eien woke up, she didn’t have a headache. She wished she had a headache. She wished that her memory was not intact so she didn’t have to remember how badly she embarrassed herself the previous night.

However, the way she was sitting, with her forehead in one hand, many people would easily assume that she had a hangover, and left it at that.

Ryo knew better, and took a seat across from her with mugs of herbal-smelling tea in each hand. He offered one to Eien, who took it and sipped cautiously.

“Lemon and honey?” she asked with a glance upwards.

“Better than the hair of the dog that done bit yo ass, hm?” Ryo said, prompting a death glare from Eien.

“Stop it,” she said, “And let me know when Yanagi gets here. I owe him a debt of pain.”

Ryo pointed over at the doorway and said, “I think that someone else has you beat to the punch.

Eien looked over at the portal in question to see Yanagi running into the dining hall under the angry drubbings of Marié’s cane. She was shouting at him in French, presumably swearing up a storm, and Yanagi covered his head in an act of futility because a lot of her blows simply landed on his back and shoulders.

“Don’t you ever tell anyone about that!” Marié finished off, her face twisted in a hurt expression. Yanagi straightened up and rubbed the back of his head, where her cane had connected rather effectively.

“Oww… okay, I won’t tell anyone about-" Marié raised her cane threateningly, and Yanagi instinctively flinched, “That. I won’t tell them about that.”

Marié brought her cane down in front of her and walked off with a literal huff, making her way over to the breakfast line. Yanagi, on the other hand, simply got himself a cup of coffee and made his way over to the table where Ryo and Eien sat. Ryo was humming a pleased little tune to himself, as if he was getting ready to enjoy the upcoming show, while Eien remained silent as the grave.

Once Yanagi sat down and opened his mouth, all that came out was a “Goo-hhhkkkkch!” as Eien’s fingers wrapped around his throat and she began shaking him back and forth.

“You absolute bastard!” Eien shouted, prompting a few of the other people in the dining hall to turn and face her. “You complete and total bastard! I told you I didn’t drink and you got me drunk anyway!”

“Kkkkchhhh,” Yanagi responded as his face started to turn red. She wasn’t strangling him effectively enough, but there was at least a sense of distress at him not being able to defend himself through words or actions.

“Do you have any idea how embarrassed I was? I fell asleep on her, you twit!”

“Kkkkkk.”

“I am never hanging out with you again! Never!”

“Hhhhckh.”

Ryo finally spoke up, though there were a panoply of giggles in his voice as he did so, “I think he’s trying to tell you something, Eien.”

“Huh?”

“Ornggchcchh…”

Eien loosened her grip slightly.

“Orange juice… Tonic water.”

Eien blinked and released him.

“That bar does their orange juice with a bit of tonic water,” Yanagi said, rubbing his throat and taking a few deep breaths. “That’s why it tasted bitter. There was no alcohol in it.”

Eien fumed for a second and readied to start choking him again, then realized that everything that happened last night was not the fault of the drink, but rather her own. She folded her arms angrily and stared at him, steam practically wafting out of her ears in fury.

“At least you got a dance with Chie,” Yanagi offered, and Eien practically leapt forward to wrap her fingers around his throat once again.

“Kkkchhkh!”

There was a pause in their argument as another voice joined the fray, and Yu took a seat next to Ryo. “You’re just a hit with the ladies today, aren’t you, clown?”

Yanagi responded by giving her the finger, “Kkkch.”

“Still, I suppose that I have to give you props for picking out a pretty rad place for us to hang out. Guess you’re useful for something after all.”

“Kk.”

Yu leaned back in her seat and gave a wistful smile as she spoke again, “And that performance. How about that-”

Yanagi cut her off by slamming his hand on the table, then making a “cut off” gesture.

“Charades?” Ryo said, bouncing in his seat, “Ooh! I love charades!”

Eien glanced over at Yu, her fingers still around Yanagi’s neck, “Should I stop?”

“Oh no, this is hilarious.”

“Hkkkk,” Yanagi croaked out with a sense of irritation. Even so, he held up a hand, all fingers spread out. Ryo caught on immediately.

“Five words.” Yanagi dropped down to one finger, “First word…” Yanagi waggled that finger back and forth in an irritated admonishment.

Yu started to jump in, “No. Stop. Don’t.” Yanagi snapped his fingers and pointed at her before holding up a second finger. Eien contemplated releasing him, but agreed with Yu’s assessment. This was hilarious.

“Second word,” Ryo said, and Yanagi immediately changed his hand to look like a mouth that was flapping its yap. “Talking?”

Yanagi responded by holding up his thumb and forefinger, then bringing them closer together to indicate something shortening. “Talk!” Yu said, and Yanagi snapped his fingers again. He held up three fingers, this time.

“Third word,” Yu said, and Yanagi raised a single finger and started moving it in a circle above his head.

“Rally,” Yu said.

“Around,” Ryo tried, and Yanagi pointed at him, and gestured for him to keep going. He started giving synonyms. “Near, close by, about.” Yanagi snapped his fingers, and Ryo did a satisfied fist pump.

Eien glanced over at them and said, “Okay, but this is really getting uncomfortable. Can I let him go now?”

“I suppose,” Yu said, “As much as I want to see this asshat dead, I don’t want to see you go to prison.”

“Just make sure you finish the statement in charades,” Ryo said, and Yanagi stared coldly at him as Eien released his throat.

“No. Don’t talk about Marié’s performance,” he said bluntly, and Ryo gave a dissatisfied noise as he threw his hands up in the air.

“I could have gotten that,” he said despondently as Yanagi rubbed his neck.

“Haven’t been choked like that since my last visit to the Red-Light District…”

Eien tilted her head at him and said, “What?”

“What?”

Yu paid the statement no mind and only asked, “So why the hell shouldn’t we talk about last night in that regard?”

“Administration might take exception,” Yanagi said, and left it at that.

“Ohhhh…” Eien said with a nod. Marié’s talent was that of the Ultimate Opera Singer, which meant that she should be only singing Opera professionally. If word got out that she was singing Jazz or   
Blues, she would possibly have her title changed or even revoked.

Though, of course, it may be an overreaction on Eien’s part and Marié may only want to keep her late-night activities under wraps because she was basically sexy-dancing onstage.

Nobody really wanted anyone else to know that they were sexy-dancing onstage. It was unprofessional (for Marié’s intended profession, at least) and, to the wrong people, tacky.

“So,” Eien said as she glanced over at Yanagi. His voice had cleared up and he was no longer as red in the face. “What now?”

“We do that again next weekend,” Ryo offered with a shit-eating grin, to which Eien gave a sharp stare in return.

“No.”

“Darn.”

“We should still do an outing as a group,” Yanagi offered, and Yu found herself nodding in agreement for a split second before she scowled. There was no way she was going to agree with anything that the blowhard had said.

“Any ideas?” Ryo said, “Because drinking seems out of the question.”

“It’s never out of the question,” Yanagi responded, though Eien stomped on his foot and caused him to groan in discontent, “Though… It should be for this upcoming weekend.”

“Thank you,” Eien said as she turned back towards Ryo and took a sip of the tea he had provided.

“What about… We host a cooking party? Like make dinner as a class,” Ryo offered, then looked down at his index fingers as he started to press them together, “I mean… I can only cook fish, but I cook it pretty well.”

“That’s alright,” Yanagi said with a chuckle, “I’m only really good at making breakfast and comfort food.”

Yu gave a displeased “tch” and leaned back in her chair with a dissatisfied expression, “You can cook all you want… I ain’t gettin’ in the kitchen.”

“I’m guessing it’s because you can’t exactly handle yourself among the pots and pans?” Yanagi prodded, and Yu immediately stiffened up before she looked over at Yanagi with a sour expression.

“You wanna run that by me again, Wordsworthless?”

“Wow, clever. Did you spend all week coming up with that one?”

“Answer the fucking question, clown!” Yu said as she reached over and tried to grab Yanagi by the collar, only for him to swat her hand away as if he was batting at a fly.

“I said that, when it comes to working in the kitchen, you’re about as useful as a cock on a colander.”

Yu’s lip twitched in irritation and she looked like she was going to leap across the table to pick up on the work that Eien had left so woefully unfinished, when Ryo’s hand rested on her shoulder. Of course, it only “rested” in the same way that a very irritated mother’s hand “rests” on their child’s shoulder, but the child understands full well that despite outside appearances, their mother has a death grip on that joint.

The only indication that Yu gave of Ryo’s death grip was a quiet hiss of pain as his fingers, presumably, squeezed slightly. All Ryo said was, “Stay put and stay civil.”

Yanagi started to point and laugh at his rival’s predicament, only for Ryo to shoot a cold, angry death glare in his direction, and the gesture withered away like a sapling’s branch faced with the onslaught of its first winter, and in that moment Eien understood a part of Ryo’s talent.

A few days ago, Ryo had made the boisterous claim that he had stopped a Great White Shark from attacking a tuna that he was trying to reel in with only a stare. Admittedly, everyone thought that his statement was a tall tale at best and a blatant lie at worst, but now Eien believed him in truth.

The sheer amount of killing intent that was coming from the Ultimate Fisherman’s gaze and managed to cause a seasoned soldier and showman to curl in on himself would have probably scared off the apex predator of the ocean and solidified Ryo’s position in that role.

Even so, Eien felt uncomfortable and said “Oooo… kay. I’m going to hit the escape exit out of this conversation. Just don’t any of you kill each other, okay?”

None of them responded as Eien made her way towards the door, mug of tea in hand, only to almost crash into someone walking in just as she was walking out.

“Oh! Morning,” Chie said with a chipper smile, and the broad grin that she gave to Eien made the latter’s face change a few hues closer to a color that was somewhere between fire engine red and maroon.

“Morning… did you sleep alright last night?” Eien asked. That was a normal question to ask someone. Not creepy at all, right? No betrayal of your feelings in the slightest, right?

“Yeah, I slept fine!” Chie said with a laugh, though she gave Eien what could only be described as a playful wink. It couldn’t really have been a playful wink since Chie was a Cyclops, so to speak, but the intention was still prevalent in the action. “Admittedly, not as nice as you slept on the way back from Don’t Tell Mama.”

Eien’s face completed its transition to that bright red, and Eien said, “Listen… I’m really sorry about that. I thought I was drunk, and I really wasn’t and… oh, I’m just making no sense today, am I?”

“No, I get it,” Chie said with an upraised hand, “I didn’t mind. It was actually kind of cute, especially the way you snore.”

Eien straightened up and felt her hands shaking. She took another mouthful of the still-hot tea from the mug so it wouldn’t slosh over onto her hands from the quakes it experienced, and so she could try and pass herself off with a sense of casualty.

“I snore? Pfft, you’re kidding. Alex wouldn’t have let that go if I did,” Eien explained with a little chuckle that came out more as a nervous laugh.

“He’s that petty?”

“Yup! Completely petty! Totally petty! He’d never let me live it down!” Eien said, her voice raised up, “Wow, it’s loud in here! I should get going, I need to write in my bird. I mean feed my journal. I mean… bye!” Eien started to scurry down the hallway, hiding her face from the beautiful scientist that now tilted her head at Eien in confusion before calling out after her.

“Whatever you do, make sure you wash your hands.”

Eien returned to her room, closed it shut and locked it behind her, set the mug of tea down before she fell face-first onto the bed and began bonking herself on the head. Alex fluttered out of his cage and alighted on the nightstand alongside Eien’s bed and tilted his head. “Mama? Are you okay?”

Eien turned her head to the side and said, “Yeah. Mama’s just not very smart right now.”

“Mama is very smart, though,” Alex said with some confusion. Eien had to contain a small laugh because she knew that Alex didn’t necessarily have the vocabulary to comprehend what she meant.

After all, the word “idiot” had no place in a science experiment.

“I’m not feeling well,” Eien explained as an addendum. “Mama just needs to get some rest.”

Alex bobbed his head in a nod and said, “Okay,” before flapping over and resting on Eien’s shoulder briefly. He gave Eien a quick peck on the cheek with a statement of “mwah!” before he flew back to his cage.

Eien rolled over and pulled out her phone, sending a quick text to Yanagi.

Hayabusa – “help”

It wasn’t long before he responded in kind.

Kurokawa – “After today’s performance? I don’t think so.”

Clearly, he was referring to the attempt she made to strangle him.

Hayabusa – “I screwed up with Chie. Help.”  
Kurokawa – “In other news: Water is wet, the Pope is Catholic, and bears shit in the woods.”

His sarcasm wasn’t helping, and Eien felt herself getting increasingly frustrated with him.

Hayabusa – “listen I know I got a little out of hand this morning but u have 2 help me”  
Kurokawa – “Why?”  
Hayabusa – “bc shes cute”  
Eien could practically hear the New Year’s noisemakers going off in the background, because the next text conveyed such a deep sense of sarcasm that Eien could taste it.  
Kurokawa – “Whooo! What a fucking revelation! That you finally admit it, I mean. Because everyone except Chie can see it. Hell, Marié can see it, so you know you’re that obvious.”  
Hayabusa – “not funny”  
Kurokawa – “Exceedingly funny. Apologize for trying to strangle me, and I MIGHT deign to give you some advice that could help you.”

Eien could feel her cheeks puffing out in frustration, though after a moment of thought, she realized that she did owe him an apology because she had tried to choke him out for no reason. Well… admittedly, she thought she had a reason when she was doing it, but now understood that there wasn’t really an excuse for her actions.

Hayabusa – “im srry I tried 2 choke u”  
Kurokawa – “You didn’t try to choke me.”  
Hayabusa – “?”  
Kurokawa – “You tried to strangle me. Choking is what happens when your food goes down the wrong pipe. Strangling is what you tried to do to me in the dining hall.”

Eien narrowed her eyes at the text and realized that he was being even more difficult than usual. She wanted to put the phone down and take a nap, leaving him without his apology and both of them with bad tastes in their mouths, but that was a level of petty that Eien wasn’t quite willing to sink to just yet. She grudgingly typed out the response.

Hayabusa – “im srry I tried 2 strangle u”  
Kurokawa – “Apology accepted.”  
Hayabusa – “now wuts this advice”  
Kurokawa – “Talk to her, you dimwit.”

Eien paused, stared at her phone, and blinked a few times. She didn’t know what she took more exception to: being called a dimwit, or the fact that Yanagi’s “advice” consisted of her going so far outside her comfort zone that she would rather act as a matador for oncoming traffic.

Hayabusa – “thts ur advice”  
Kurokawa – “Yup. Just ask her to lunch. I’m willing to bet my remaining kidney that you’ll get a yes.”  
Hayabusa – “w8 u only have 1 kidney”  
Kurokawa – “Irrelevant. Now go and get you some pirate booty.”

Eien’s thoughts briefly wandered over to the realm of Chie’s posterior. She hadn’t put too much thought into it previously, but now Eien realized that it was very nice, just like the rest of her. The double entendre of the phrase was not lost on her, either.

She put Alex on her shoulder and made her way out to the hallway, then to the dining hall. The journey seemed to take an age because of the thoughts weighing down Eien’s mind, but in truth it was only thirty seconds.

Chie sat at the same table as Yu and Ryo. Yanagi had moved away to join Marié and… surprisingly, Fumiko. The soccer player wore a smile for the first time that Eien had seen as Marié regaled the pair with what was, presumably, a humorous tale.

Unfortunately, Eien only had tunnel vision, focusing on the girl with the pirate aesthetic, and rested two fingers on the back of the chair that sat vacant across from her.

“Uhm… mind if I sit here?” she said quietly, hoping that she had managed to garner enough attention to start a worthwhile conversation.

The table fell silent and five eyes stared at her. Ryo started to speak up, welcoming her along, but Chie beat him to the punch.

“Yeah! Take a seat,” she said as she gestured to the chair that Eien was touching. “Feeling a little better? You seemed out of sorts.”

“Yeah, I’m fine. I just needed to spend a bit of time with Alex,” Eien said as she sat down. No way was she going to tell Chie that the crush that Eien had for her had been more or less squishing her to nothing and that she had needed outside assistance. Fearful that her internal monologue could potentially be heard by anyone other than herself, Eien spoke up again, “So I actually had a question about your work.”

“Oh?” Chie said, turning to face Eien intently. Her remaining eye was a piercing blue, like an iceberg rather than the ocean itself. It was almost hypnotic, but Eien asked her question nevertheless.

“I heard mention that you’d managed to not only prove its existence, but capture a live specimen of the South China Sea Giant Squid. How did you manage to succeed where so many others had failed?" Eien asked, going along with Yanagi’s suggestion.

If this didn’t get Chie talking, Yanagi owed her a kidney. What she would do with it, she had no idea.

“Oh, man, this was something phenomenal,” Chie started to explain, and she raised her hands up in order to illustrate her point. Internally, Eien said only “shoot” over the idea that she wouldn’t have grounds to ask for one of Yanagi’s organs, if only for the humor of it. Across from her, Chie delved into her explanation.

“Alright, so the South China Giant Squid lives in the depths of the ocean that can only be accessible by two human devices: Either a bathysphere or a submersible. For this expedition, we wound up using the latter, simply due to the nature of the cephalopod lure that I had made up,” she said, using one hand to represent the bathysphere and drawing lines in the air with the other to show what she was talking about.

“The lure was attached to the ship rather than the submersible, and we managed to keep a one-hundred meter distance from the lure before we turned it on. Now, the lure itself was the genius part: It was a speaker with an attached box of fish that would open on command, and a net that would envelop the squid shortly thereafter. The speaker would broadcast the sounds of fish feeding, the squid would come running, and then we’d give it a snack before snaring it so we could tag it and release.”

That made Ryo curious, and he tilted his head at Chie for a second, “Wait. Tag? As in you didn’t eat it?”

“No!” Chie said, mortified by the prospect.

“Why not? Squid’s good eating.”

“The squid was an important find to the scientific community,” Chie explained in exasperation. In this moment, Eien saw that, while Ryo and Chie’s talents both dealt with the ocean and the creatures that lived therein, they were bound to have very different approaches to how that marine life should be viewed. 

Chie’s mindset was in the neighborhood of “if we understand these species better, we can better understand our world at large.”

Ryo’s approach was more along the lines of “give me enough time and I’ll find a way to eat it.”

Eien saw the merits of both, admittedly, and though she was more inclined to agree with Chie when it came to this case.

“How big was it?” Yu asked, chiming into the conversation for the first time since they started talking about the squid.

“What?”

“How big was the squid?” Yu clarified.

Chie tapped her finger on her chin and tried to think of an estimate size. “The body was about as long as this table, and the two main tentacles that were used for feeding were another three meters long.”

“Sounds like good eating,” Ryo commented, and Eien kicked him under the table. He was so surprised that he just… stopped talking. Eien being aggressive? That was new.

Ignoring him and moving on, Chie said, “Yeah, we managed to tag it and start tracking it in the deeper waters. With any luck, we’ll understand a little bit more about any of this species’ migration habits and potentially tag more of them in the future.”

Eien found herself smiling, “That’s really impressive,” she said, and her grin widened even further, “Like wow. I don’t think that I could ever do something like that with a bird species.”

“Pfft,” Chie said, waving the compliment off, “You’ve done something a lot more impressive. I could never teach an animal to think. Alex is sharper than most people that I’ve met in my lifetime.”

“He’s smart, but I wouldn’t go that far,” Eien responded, “He’s as smart as a normal kid. But only like a really young one, like five or six years old at most.”

“That’s still impressive,” Yu said as she took another drink from the coffee mug in front of her, “And I agree with Chie. He sounds like he’s smarter than most of the people that we would normally have to deal with on a daily basis.” She raised her voice and called out loud enough for it to carry throughout the dining hall, “Especially those that have to write poetry to make themselves feel so much smarter than they really are.”

Eien saw the vein pulsing on Yanagi’s temple all the way across the dining hall, and Marié had to rest one of her hands on his own in an attempt to placate him.

Fortunately, it worked. Eien was not in the mood to have her tranquility perturbed by an all-out brawl.

“So what kind of stuff can he do to showcase that intelligence? Aside from talk, I mean,” Chie asked excitedly.

“Well… he’s able to do basic addition and subtraction, up to two digits. I’m trying to teach him three-digit arithmetic, but he’s having a hard time grasping it.”

“What about multiplication or division?” Ryo said.

“No. Not yet,” Eien responded with a shake of her head, “That’s too advanced for right now. I want him to perfect addition and subtraction first before we move on to the next step.”

“What else?” Chie asked, fully invested in the conversation.

“He can effectively communicate with other birds,” Eien explained, “He knows the four cardinal directions, and he can read reasonably well. The downside is that he can’t pronounce some of the letter sounds, like ‘p.’ He doesn’t have lips, so it’s impossible for him to do that noise.”

“How does he get around it?” Yu inquired.

“He has to come up with other phrases that may be longer, but still convey the same idea,” Eien explained, “It’s really interesting seeing how his mind works.”

Her train of thought was interrupted by a buzzing in her pocket, and as Ryo and Chie started to talk about what constituted “good eating” in the ocean, she checked the message that had come through. Generally speaking, Ryo’s appetites for fish bordered on nightmarish, prompting Chie to go very pale and confused in the face.

Eien stared at the message for a second, blinked once, then twice, then glanced over at Yanagi, who sat rather smugly at the table with Marié and Fumiko.

Kurokawa – “Now, was that so hard?”

Eien ground her teeth for a second before she sent her response.

Hayabusa – “fuck off and let me enjoy this”

Across the dining hall, Yanagi covered his mouth and began to chuckle, though nobody save his current seating companions could see the gesture.

“What’s up?” Fumiko asked. Her voice was quiet, somewhat raspy from a knife that had punctured her trachea and harmed her voice box during the war. There was still a puckered scar on the side of her neck from the incident.

“Nothing,” Yanagi said, clearly laughing about something. “I just love it when I’m right.”


End file.
